The mosquito

I didn’t sleep well this week. Partly it was due to stress but mainly it was because it’s all of a sudden gotten to be summer. That’s how it is in Cape Town, the weather changes on a dime and with the coming festive season it’s now decided to be beach weather.

I don’t much care for summer, to be honest. There are some nice parts of it, but all in all it’s just far too hot. The days are long which is nice in the evenings but not so nice at 5am when the sun wakes you up before it’s time. It does remind me that I’m in Africa, and I tell you what, the light in Cape Town is amazingly vivid. The white buildings are almost hard to look at. This summer brought with it a problem not experienced last summer: mosquitos to go along with the sticky heat.

On Wednesday night I was awoken by mozzies buzzing around my ear, and it wasn’t just one, and any and all attempts to bundle things around my head to keep them away failed as I could still hear them. I was almost despairing because I was already sleep-deprived, and I could feel the fatigue in my training, and it was frustrating. So I was at my wit’s end until I got the genius idea to go put in earplugs.

Worked like a charm. The bother was still there but it didn’t annoy me. That’s a good life lesson, hey? Although my body is now covered in welts (I have since bought a fan).

The work week was absolutely manic, trying to get proposals out and get meetings scheduled for the new year before everyone goes on holiday leave. The country literally shuts down for 3-4 weeks, it’s more extreme than the American holiday shutdown.

It was also a particularly hectic week between a cranky supplier, a cranky customer, a BIG proposal that had to go out, our company office warming, and our company year-end function.

I tested the water on a few items and got the responses I expected. It’s very very interesting how you can toss a few lines in the water to see what bites you get back. It’s certainly looking like 2013 is going to be a most interesting year.

Sheraan, CEO of a twice sister company (we have not one but TWO investors in common) was I think the first person I’d heard use the term “throwing toys” to describe business people losing their cool and screaming at you, jumping up and down, etc., in an attempt to get their way. I must say I find the whole scene very obnoxious. There is a difference between being demanding but fair, and demeaning, rude, and unreasonable.

I think about my customers, and the ones who I like are the ones where I will go to the ends of the earth if they are having issues. I actually like demanding customers because they make you up your game. What I don’t like are unjustified criticisms, rudeness, and expectations that don’t make sense. There is no better way to turn your vendors into an “us vs them” type mode. Much nicer when we can all just act like grownups.

At the end of the day though it all boils down to money, because that’s why we’re in business, so you remove the emotion and figure out what to do. But it got me thinking …. Which of our vendors do we maybe treat this way? 

Serious sense of humour failure the last two weeks that I have mostly, but not entirely, contained. Thank heavens there’s enough good going on to mask my crankiness (and I’m not just cranky about work). But actually, I shouldn’t let myself off that easy. There is a lot of pressure, but I do know how to be calm under pressure and keep my big mouth shut. I just need to be better about that. I have been much better about my diet the last week or so, and as a result I have kicked my sugar craving to the curb and lost a few kgs. Sure it’s easy. What’s not to easy is combatting the decision-making trends that caused me to put on weight to begin with.

In non-work news …. Hmm, what news? Had a disastrous Fran encounter on Monday (ok it was sort of expected because there is something quite wrong with my pullups at the moment), then Tuesday we did the first hero workout ever at CCF (we think): McGhee, 30 minute AMRAP of 5 80kg deadlifts, 13 pushups, 9 60cm box jumps. Nearly 13 rounds later I was done. Not my best performance. Box jumps were ok but those many pushups slow me down and I still struggle with deadlift form so I took those slowly so as to be safe.

Thursday was snatch day and I was just NOT feeling it. Not even almost. Not comfortable in an overhead squat, movement just felt off. I really wish I could practice more. Seriously I could snatch every day and would enjoy doing so. But I can’t. We did split snatches, which I’d never done before, and toes to bar in the WOD, which was fun. I hadn’t done toes to bar for a little while and these were much improved over my last attempts. Core strength may be coming back as well.

Saturday was actually mostly a day off. I trained in the morning with Liezl out in Somerset West at the powerlifting gym. We learned a ton, which is always great. Then lunch with Michelle. I could get used to this routine. Some quick shopping, coffee & catch up with Sheraan, more shopping at the fifth circle of hell that is Canal Walk. It might have even reached the sixth circle what with the holiday shoppers. Then to the gym for some sorely-needed technique work. I have some major gymnastic weaknesses and I never like to work on them. So I worked on kipping handstand pushups and walking on my hands.

The good news is I finally got the knack of the latter! I remembered how easily I had learned when Carl Paoli was in Cape Town last year so I practiced what he taught me and 15 minutes later I was going pretty consistently. Now I can just get better.

I was similarly feeling amazing earlier in the week when on snatch day I did like a 98% front squat with ease. I’m feeling the positive impacts now of something; whether it’s that rest or just consistent training or what, but I’m improving both strength & technique-wise almost on a step-function manner.

Now time to do the same with my company. It takes a little bit of time to figure out where you’re going then get people to buy in and follow you. But we’re on our way, and I think the troops are excited. I sure am. But then again … I’m drinking my own Kool-Aid, more or less.

• “Leave your Kleenex at home. No one cares.” – Allister
• “Between the two of us we make a New York minute seem like a Tokyo second, not sure of that makes sense!” – Francois
• “Do you know [venture capitalist]?” “Yes.” “I know you know [venture capitalist].” – Anton & Ellie (silly boy asking me a question to which he already knew the answer!)
• “I think you figured that out.” – Rudolph
• “It’s hard to read the label from inside the bottle.” – Rich Mulholland
• “Cisco can’t think of Meraki as their nemesis.” – Adel
• “Nothing is perfect at [company name omitted]. Especially the orders.” – name withheld (funny because it’s true!)
• “They can’t do very much worse at this point.” – Ross
• “I am looking forward to what conspiracy you all will use to lure me back. :)” – Kelly
• “Meet at 9-10 in the morning? Dressed like pirates?” – Rudolph
• “I don’t want an apology. I want it sorted!” – Tim
• “A heavy weight is not going to come off the floor if you ask it nicely.” – Steven
• “Next you’re going to tell me your gym has a GHR machine!” – Steven
• "Just as long as there's no milk, and no sugar." – Sheraan (yeah!!)

Bootstrap Camp

Every year, the kind folks at 4Di Capital host an away weekend for members of their portfolio and alumni (which hopefully means I can be enjoying these for years to come!). It is meant to be a time to talk about challenges of our businesses in an open environment, and also just to get to know our other sister companies, and the other partners at the firm as the way it’s set up we each work primarily with one of the partners, in my case, Doug.

But before the weekend began I had to get through the rest of the week. I am not remembering what happened on Thursday, probably because it was Wi-Fi the world day and I was busy trying to pull together my thoughts for a board meeting the next morning. Which I survived although the next one will be a lot more fun as I will actually have an operational plan for review at that point.

I’m feeling good; things are starting to come into place. But, as we discussed at the bootstrap camp (aka summer camp for business leaders!), one of the single biggest challenges you face in a startup is time management. It’s not knowing what to do that’s so hard, it’s finding the time to do it all especially when you can easily wind up fire fighting or placating your latest unhappy customer. Churn is expensive. The best way to move forward fast is not to have unhappy customers. Well, duh, right?

Friday was also a bit of a strange day as I had a lunch meeting with yet another guy I’d only ever known socially, and now we might become resellers of each others’ solution. It’s weird how times change. And speaking of change, Friday also brought with it news of big layoffs at Mxit. Can’t say I’m entirely surprised; what I’d heard of that company resembled the crazy excesses of the dotcom era, which isn’t to say there isn’t a solid business in there. But fundamentals are important. I’d recommend bootstrapping to anyone.

As I had to be in the Stellenbosch mountains early Saturday morning, I spent the night with Hes & Ryan in Somerset West, after a super fun workout at Ballistix (2RM overhead squat followed by death by burpees). I managed 45kgs and 16 rounds + 16 burpees (stupid timing error … I should have had those 17 rounds). I also should have had 50kgs easy on the OHS, but was having some issues with my ankle that caused my balance to go out a bit. Kept making the first lift then losing my overhead stability. Wow, I remember a time when I couldn’t even comfortably overhead squat 30kgs. That time was a year ago.

Saturday morning we did a beach workout! In teams of 2, 2x20m sled pull on sand then running/thrashing into the ocean around two buoys and back around. This was way harder than it sounded! The first round I tried to power through and then quickly realised that was not going to last (it was a 30 minute AMRAP). So much fun though; my first beach WOD of the season as it happened!

Shower & on to bootstrap camp. The experience was great. It was one of those times when what I’m doing and where I find myself really sinks in. I tease Doug for calling me naïve but he is right. How could I be any other way? I had no idea of the stress, or the level of love for my staff, or the political machinations, or the stakes involved, before I got in. Not even sure I fully grasp it now, and I am probably doing pretty well but I’m also making mistakes. Of course I am; I’m human and I’ve not done this before.

I know and like quite a couple VCs, but I can really only speak from experience of working with these guys, and they are great. Like, I think they’d be intimidating in other circumstances. Speaking of circumstance, how I find myself the only American in the room, in a room full of people selling into the American market when I’m selling into the South African market. I think this is because I was the only one in the room working for a business that is more a service company than a product company, so it makes all the sense in the world when you think about it. Not that that makes it any less ironic.

The format of the weekend is that each person got to talk for an hour to an hour and a half, and then the rest of the group asked questions. We started with Nic from Motribe, which had recently sold to Mxit (ironically enough). This was a very interesting discussion because it really wasn’t so much about the money at the end of the day as all the other things around it: the staff expectations, what you can and can’t say, anchoring, and, of course, leverage. Leverage is becoming my new favourite word, along with offload.

Most of the folks went on the first day, with two going on the second day. In between was the requisite braai, drinking, and socialising. What a cool mix of people … Nic was tweeting something about getting ambition anxiety when around really smart people. He actually meant ambitious people. There is something fundamentally nutty about an entrepreneur. I was telling Laurie how I had never actually wanted to be a CEO because of all the responsibility that comes along with it. I’ve always preferred influence without responsibility. Well, time to grow up I guess.

Time also, in a way, to grow into the expectations of me. Time to stop being afraid and under-performing. I can think big, I can sell a vision, and what keeps me up at night isn’t that or my ability to execute. It’s something else, a weakness that I am rapidly working to fix.

I had the benefit of going last, which meant that I got to plan my presentation a little bit. I’m still in a strange space where I can’t necessarily talk about specific plans or track record yet, more still in the phase of here’s what I’m seeing, here’s where I think we’re going, here’s how we’re going to come up with a plan, here’s some challenges that I have.

The discussion was useful, for a couple of things: a semi-obvious thing that I had missed that Nic pointed out, and a question from Shiraan that I am still struggling to answer part of a week later. He asked, and this is a question any entrepreneur should think about: what is your #1 sales priority, #1 marketing priority, and #1 strategic priority? At the time I could answer the sales question. I can now answer the strategy question and I probably could have then if I thought about it. The marketing question I am still working on. Actually not a bad discipline to apply to the whole business: what is my #1 HR priority? OK that one I can answer. But you get the point.

I think another thing that happens at these events is that you get excited about your sister companies! I’m sure it’s no secret but I’m a bit jealous of my friends over at HealthQ. They are literally going to change the way that we humans interact with our bodies and the world around us, and kill all the snake oil salesmen in the process. Compared to that, my plans for world domination seem quite cute by comparison. I think there was a time in my life when I would have been so jealous that I couldn’t be a part that I would have some sort of resentment for the amount of fame and money that will surely be coming their way. But somehow this doesn’t upset me at all, perhaps because I enjoy them so much as people. Plus, there’s enough to go around. It’s not like I need to own my own jet plane or anything. So maybe I’m maturing.

I also relayed the story about how when I first met Doug, before I nearly talked myself out of a job before turning the entire conversation on its head, I said that I didn’t know if I had a passion for the industry. Turns out I have developed one: when I’m listening with rapt attention to the pre-sales engineer telling me about channels and spectrum and mesh networks, without having any desire whatsoever to check my mobile phone … I’ve been won over.

Another thing that I mentioned was how when I first started, perhaps as a result of not being a founder, and not knowing if I had a passion for this field, I didn’t actually know whether or not I could do what I was being asked to do. Now I’m much more sure I can. Let me rephrase: I know I can. If you’re going to succeed, though, you do need to pull the team together, and you need some luck on your side. So far both of those things are going really well as well, but time will tell. Being able to do something and actually doing it are not the same thing.

We were discussing what characteristics make for a successful startup CEO. I think there are a lot. A sense of humour sure as hell doesn’t hurt, nor does genuine charisma. What I came down to though is if you had to ask me the single most important factor, it’s being able to see opportunities that others miss, and understand how to execute on them. You can get a good manager to execute the plan. But if your plan is bad, or your vision is bad, you can’t go anywhere. I think Doug said it himself: you need to be able to see opportunity, motivate the team and align them with the vision, and then translate that into differences on paper that result in lasting value creation.

Simple, right? Well as I have said before, the best definition of strategy is a reality that reflects all other realities.

Simple, right?

Last but not least, I discovered that one of the other guys at the camp bears a striking resemblance to me in personality traits, investors, and in a way, type of target customer. Everything from an affinity for sales to a tendency not to want to hand off stuff if it can’t be done up to our level of expectation to periods of time in our life where we were off the training/health bandwagon in a serious way. We’re going to spend some more time together; it’s going to be interesting to see just how we are similar, how we are different, and how this changes over time.

I look forward to next year!

• “Oh did I say that out loud?” “I didn’t hear anything.” – Ellie & Neil
• “There are kettlebells involved but it’s not what you think.” – Ryan
• “I’m surprised you’re still there.” – Hes
• “It’s just a question of how bad you want it.” – Hes
• “If you don’t step out of your comfort zone you’re never going to change.” – Hes
• “Maggots, for example, are a good source of protein.” – Riaan
• “We’ll have a cool maggot evening!” – Riaan
• “I now know you need 4-5 hours sleep if you’re going to drink a whole bottle of whiskey.” – Laurie
• “All worms are better if you deep-fry them.” – Riaan
• “You can’t just paper over problems with money.” – Justin
• “Nothing you read is true.” – Nic
• “Attraction is part of leverage.” – Laurie
• “There’s a difference between building a product and building a business.” – Nic
• “Up ‘til now we’ve dealt with feature creep by adding the feature.” – Dave
• “I didn’t start cynical.” – Dave
• “People don’t like the truth.” “People don’t like it when you say that.” – Ellie & Sheraan
• “There’s a lot of IP in the IP.” – Riaan
• “This could be bigger than Apple.” – Laurie
• “What does it feel like to know you’re on the brink of changing the world?” – Nic
• “Ellie just said it – there’s a lot of smart people. There’s not a lot of smart people who think that big.” – Nic
• “You’re in a special group, Ellie.” – Doug
• “Even viral products are not really viral.” – Sheraan
• “There’s 24 hours in a day and you’re only working 12.” – Dave
• “I’m afraid that in general what you’ve all signed up for is a hard thing to pull off.” – Justin
• “We’re all lunatics.” – Justin
• “There are people who are just less stubborn.” – Sheraan 

Brilliance (not mine)

Change is good, adaptation is good …. But be careful what changes you make. Prior to my competition on the weekend, I had some fascial release done to help release tightness in my chest. Mission accomplished, and it maybe helped my bench press, but it absolutely wrecked my chest-to-bar pullups.

I did a workout Monday morning that I’d done a ton of times before, with thrusters and chest-to-bar pullups. I had never, in a year and a half, gotten such a bad score, and it wasn’t a conditioning thing in any way … I just completely lost my ability to do chest-to-bar pullups. Turns out by removing chronic tension to the area I exposed a weakness. Once I fix the weakness I’ll be much stronger and can more than likely switch to a pronated grip which is much stronger for me on pullups. But in the meantime …. A humbling and embarrassing regression.

In happier news, I can probably do 29kg thrusters all day long! Oh, and that evening I managed a small new PR on front squat even with my back in its compromised state. It’s fixed now, thanks to Byron. That dude is worth his weight in gold, I tell you what. Oh my word, that evening’s workout I think I may have been the only one to follow instructions properly to go all out on the 500m row that began the workout. That was a good lesson in getting the best metabolic response vs getting a good time on a workout. It was dreadful. Anything that starts off with an all-out row is going to suck. Hard. About time for another 2K time trial.

Enough about sport and my own failings. My head has been elsewhere until I deem competition season as actually having started, which will probably be from January.

So. Success is an interesting thing, sort of like charisma. Some people seem to attract it naturally; some do not. I was reminded of something recently: the most successful people in the world have only 24 hours in a day, the same as the rest of us.

Think about it. Everyone only has 24 hours in a day. Everyone. Barack Obama. Richard Branson. You. Your manager. Your child. How we choose to spend our time, certain constraints aside, is up to us. I’ve said this before: there must always be a primary thing that you do, and a secondary, and so on. It doesn’t need to be a hard and fast force rank …. But hey if you’re a professional athlete you’re probably putting your sport first. If you’re a CEO, it’s probably your company. If you’re a head of state, I sure as hell hope it’s your country. If you’re a parent, it might be your children. It might not.

On Monday I had the pleasure of going out to dinner with one of the smartest people that I don’t know very well, which of course makes him all the more interesting. I can tell, though, when someone’s probably smarter than I am, and this guy fits the bill. Plus, he’s an ex-competitive athlete who I may or may not have nudged a little bit by pointing out that CrossFit forces you to balance your work and your non-work. Although on the other hand, personal relationships do suffer if your work and your sport are your top two choices.

My point is: it’s great to have someone who knows technology, business, people, and sport in pretty much equal measure. Yes we even had the intellectual snob conversation. I like all sorts of people; I actually like most people quite a lot. I’m a natural extravert. But I do like some people more than others, and this is one of those people.

You know what else I like? It’s the straight talk. It’s the same reason I immediately took to a certain other individual at the San Francisco conference I attended. Just makes me smile. I also call it like I see it and don’t enjoy wasting time beating around the bush.

As Kim said: it’s all sparring. It’s all kung fu.

But sometimes I confuse even myself.

Moving on. So that was Monday night. One of the other people I took an immediate liking to is my friend Riaan, the CEO of a soon-to-be-famous company called HealthQ. We’re just like two peas in a pod, the two of us. Tuesday night was the long-awaited media launch for these guys, who I’ve been spending time with since about August. I am so glad they are emerging from stealth mode, so I can talk about what they are doing and can soon be a guinea pig for their products.

It was also one of those nights when I was standing around feeling a combination of one of the luckiest people on the planet (I was in the presence of some of the richest people in the country, some of Silicon Cape’s best-known names, the Premier of the Western Cape, and a good chunk of the local professional rugby team). Yep, my friends are onto something big. Even to be present is a thing …. Like J said back in the North American summer: I really do have a knack for meeting the right people. But at the same time, I felt at the centre of things and yet so far away from California. It was strange.

But you make your own luck, right? Well, sure.

So that was Tuesday night, and driving back from Stellenbosch looking at the African sky all I could think of was Joburg. And Wi-Fi. Oh, and the guy I’d just met who wouldn’t let me get away with excusing myself to go to bed and was striking not so much for what he was talking about as how he was saying it. It’s a strange experience to have the tides turned on yourself. Second time in as many nights I could have stayed up all night talking. Then I woke up the next morning to see an email from a certain someone who I thought had forgotten about me. Turns out not, which is good, because I’m going to need certain people in my corner. I suppose sometimes I wonder, the same way that the girl with the stage name Toya DeLazy does: who gets close to me because they actually enjoy my company vs just wanting to be close to me for another reason? Maybe it doesn’t matter the original intent. Maybe it does.

I don’t know. Wednesday, after an interesting company strategy session that started off well then got a bit rushed towards the end, some of us went to a corporate event that was interesting as much for who we met there and the conversations that we had as for the content of the event. It’s always interesting that dance of talking to your competitors. I love it.  

Hey, it’s all sparring. It’s all kung fu.

Execution is the key thing. You can talk all day long, and be flattered by the various responses you can get from different people at different times. When the chips are down and you have to follow through, this is where the winners and losers are made. I am so excited to work with the team that we have to make our little company better. It’s this cross-functional aspect of teamwork and communication, and to see just how good we can be by working together, and talking, and trusting each other. It was great to hear the feedback about what it is that we like doing and what we think we’re good at.

I really, really love what I’m doing now, and the irony is when I first met with Doug, telling him I didn’t have a passion for this space. Boy was I ever wrong. When I’m sitting in a back room with one of my technicians watching a webinar on beamforming & spatial multiplexing, and I realise that it’s this ability to be on the leading edge of technology and the application of technology that really excites me, that’s when I know I made the right call to change jobs.

There are some things that do wake me up at night, or cause me moments of panic. You can guess what they might be. But, as in my CrossFit life, competition is not one of them.

Neither are shoes.

• “The best use of an Airohive is a paperweight.” – Ross
• “Even though you’re obsessed with shoes you’re not a chick so it’s ok.” – Rob
• “They can put that in their pipe and smoke it.” – Grant
• “Were you eating a muffin between your pullups there?” – Grant
• “That's mildly impressive.” – Rob
• “She’s weird.” “Yeah but you're weird. And I'm weird.” “Yeah but I don't look like a marionette doll.” “True.” – Rob & Ellie
• “I couldn’t believe he insulted the CEO in front of a customer …. And said she was obsessed with shoes!” – Rob (ohhh the irony…)
• “In case you haven't noticed I have a bit of a type A personality.” “In case you haven't noticed I have a bit of a type A personality.” – Rob & Ellie
• “Most people don't think.” – Rob
• “I think [name omitted] is currently cowering under a desk wishing he worked elsewhere.” – Ross
• “Well normally something goes wrong and then I fix it.” – Tim
• “The Premier says don’t kick the bucket!” – Justin
• “You’ve learned a lot, hey.” “I learned this yesterday.” – Anton & Ellie
• “But I can’t tell them that!” “I know, but I can tell you that.” – Ellie & Riaan
• “I can see that you’re not scared. You’re scaring me a little bit!” – Jalal
• “Inventory management indeed.” – Tim
• “There's a lot of technologies out there that doesn’t work.” – Mynhardt 
• “They can actually tell you anything and you have to believe them.” – Mynhardt 

Lessons in a new sport

So, I actually took a day off. It wasn’t intentional, and I had meant to go and spend time with one of my CrossFit gym-mates before she takes off on a round-the-world trip, but you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men.

Saturday I participated in a powerlifting competition, of the ‘raw’ no equipment variety. The event went pretty much as I expected, save for that I wasn’t expecting it to take all day. As you must lift in a singlet and I don’t own one, I had to rent one and it was ugly. But what the heck, it’s a powerlifting competition not a beauty contest.

It started with a weigh-in and urine sample for drug testing. I am glad that such events have mandatory drug testing. I wish all competitions did, to be honest, and it shows that the organisers are serious about at least trying to have a clean sport.

Normal powerlifting competitions are bench press, deadlift, and squat. This one was different, we did strict curl instead of squat. This was the first time it had ever been done in South Africa and you could tell – there were a lot of faults because people didn’t really know how the lift was supposed to work! But back to the beginning: the bench press. Now in a competition, unlike when lifting in the gym, for your lift to count you must obey all the rules. For bench press this meant that you have someone help you unrack the bar, then it must be stationary at the top. You lower it to your chest and it must be stationary again, then you press up and lock out. I struggled with this because you get out there and you are, of course, nervous, so I was shaking a little bit.

My personal best on the bench press is 66kgs, from a few months back, but I have no idea what my max is at the moment because we hadn’t had an open gym at Cape CrossFit since I’d been back in town. OK, there was one, but we were moving offices that day so I couldn’t go. Anyway I had no idea how strong I was, and the idea is to have your first lift be a safety lift. From there you can do what you want.

I opened at 55kgs, which was easy. My next lift at 60kgs was also easy. My final lift, 65, was somewhat difficult but nowhere near a max lift. Next time, 70! That bodyweight bench press is coming!

On to the deadlift. Now deadlift is a difficult exercise for me because I have form problems (I tend to lift with my back first). Since I also have back problems at the moment, my primary motivation in this meet was not to hurt myself, or strain that back. As a result I kept my weights moderate: I opened at 110, then went to 120, then to 125. All were successful, although my form on the final lift was not good.

Finally the hilarious strict curl. I guess I can say that I’m the South African recordholder in this event because no other female managed to lift the same weight (I did 25, then 30, then 35kgs).

I learned a couple of lessons in this meet. Firstly, you really should know your maxes coming in. I knew coming into it that I was unprepared and was just there for fun. Secondly, check to make sure you know the regulations around what sort of weight belts are allowed. My synthetic one that gives perfect support was illegal and I had to borrow someone’s leather one. Love that the guys let me do this, but a shame that I wasn’t prepared. Third, bring food along and don’t make plans for later in the day.

After we finished, I went out for all you can eat sushi with Hes, Ryan, and Jeanne from Ballistix, who were there to spectate. You know it’s kind of strange: even in a competition that I’m doing for fun and experience, you do still compete. It was awesome to have my own little cheering section, and to cheer on the other girls that I’d just met. Great to see such strong women about, and from all different backgrounds: bodybuilding, CrossFit, athletics, general fitness. But when you go out onto that platform to lift, you don’t even notice that the crowd is there. A competition is still a competition.

As it turns out, I finished second in my weight division by 5kgs. I lifted a total of 225kgs across the three lifts, and the woman who won lifted 230 (she beat me by 5kgs each on bench press and deadlift, and I beat her by 5kgs on strict curl). It was a very hard thing for a competitive personality like me to go out there and specifically not compete at deadlift, but I accomplished my goal of not hurting myself.

Until the next day when I got the genius idea to continue my squat programme …. But I was so fatigued that I lost form on a back squat and strained my back so much that I couldn’t front squat properly and had to stop my session. You would have thought that the 12 hours of sleep and obvious CNS strain would be enough to make me know I should take a rest day. But I am not so smart. I was actually laughing at myself a bit, when I felt something I hadn’t felt in over a year which was strain to the RIGHT side of my lower back.

The rest of Sunday was much more successful; I spent most of the day prepping for a company strategy session, and just getting all my strategic and tactical ducks in a row and thinking done.

What I love about sport is the people you meet, and what you can learn. I have met some great coaches and people through this powerlifting gym, and I have a lot more to learn. Competition experience is also great. Tactics and execution are just that. I learned about myself that it is actually possible for me to compete for fun …. Sort of.

I also learned that I am playing it safe way too much.

Sometimes that’s smart …. Sometimes it’s not. Fast-forward to Monday. Stay tuned.

• “I just say: f*ck you, weights, you’re mine!” – Sean
• “Yep, you cleaned it.” – Steve
• “You can’t clean without moving your hip.” – Ellie
• “I’m not a CrossFitter! How dare you!” – Joe
• “You just put the whole thing in your mouth.” “Oh. No!” – Hes & Jeanne (they were talking about sushi)
• “What do you need conditioning for?” – Roland
• “Enjoy your lunch! It is lunchtime, right?” – Ellie 

Thanksgiving: more than yesterday less than tomorrow

By Friday afternoon I was exhausted. I actually felt overtrained, which isn’t possible considering my training volume, but I suppose overtraining stresses the CNS and adrenals, both of which were stressed from other sources.

This was a very rough week. In no particular order there was the legal tussle with the crooked ex-landlord and his equally unethical lawyer wife, a few customer blow-ups, some momentary panic, a new strict press PR, a couple of lost sales, meeting a potential new hire, meeting the CEO of a competitor organisation, a visit from my international man of mystery, a round trip to Joburg, my first workout at CrossFit Platinum, an accidental [I swear!] sexual innuendo on a conference call, a day when I didn’t eat at all, the beginning of a couple potential partnerships, my first trip to Soweto, and the first workout I’ve had at Cape CrossFit since my return where I’ve actually felt happy with my performance. Tough workout done unbroken, and only unbroken because I made it so, not because the challenge was too easy.

You know, rough can be good and bad. Bad can be rough (and usually is). Good can be rough if it’s overwhelming. Anything that doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and as the old saying goes: the most important thing in life, in business, isn’t whether or not you get knocked down or make a mistake. It’s how you recover from that mistake.

Similarly, the way you approach a relationship: it’s like my friend Jo said a few months back. You don’t haggle when you want a long-term relationship. I really don’t tend to get upset unless it’s at an injustice or something I perceive as an unjust attack. I’ll defend my team, I’ll drop the gloves and fight until it’s all over. But I’ll admit when I’m wrong, and I’ll lose the battle to win the war.

Interesting notion, too: it’s fun to have good competitors. It was super fun to train with Beatrix this week, and to stay with her and her fiancé, and I’m excited at the prospect of becoming better friends with both of them over the coming months. But you know, sport is like business: competition makes you better, and it’s great to have competition. It really is. But what’s even more fun than duking it out is figuring out if you can turn a former rival into a partner, and in eliminating or reducing problems that used to plague you.

What I was saying earlier about commitment? I went hungry twice this week because I refused to eat wheat. Both times I hesitated and oscillated back-and-forth but at the end of the day I know what that stuff does to me and it’s not good. It’s just not worth it.

I’m really coming to like Joburg, which I guess is a good thing. There are some charmless bits, and yeah it’s more dangerous than Cape Town and the security is even more of a pain in the neck (seriously it takes 5 minutes to get past the gate at big companies … build THAT into your travel time!). I got off an exit in Centurion that had a big sign that said ‘hijacking hot spot.’ Not in Kansas anymore, am I?

But maybe there’s something in the water there; I find it a bit overwhelming and the traffic is horrendous but you drive down the road for three minutes and you pass the headquarters of major companies. I now am getting to know all these places that were once just names on a map or that you’d hear on the radio.

If you haven’t been to Johannesburg you might be thinking that I am talking about a city when I speak of it. I’m actually not. There is a downtown Joburg and a downtown Pretoria but for the most part the city is a big urban sprawl. It is also the largest man-made forest in the world. When you are in most parts of it that I’ve been to, downtown and downtown Sandton being the exceptions, there are a heck of a lot of trees. It’s actually quite charming. There are lots of jacarandas with their blue carpet of discarded flowers, and trees arching elegantly over the streets as the sun sets. Maybe I just liked doing my pullups on an outdoor rig with the black African sky above me. Or I’m just getting used to my new second home.

Another funny vignette: “Are you moving here?” “No, but I’m going to be spending a lot more time here.” “Good.” [exit stage right]

People are strange.

I realised that I hadn’t actually had a day off since I can remember. I don’t think I will do for the next two weeks, either. No wonder I’m feeling overtrained. The problem is, and this is really true …. There are not enough hours in the day. I can’t get any of my own work done except for on weekends, and I have a lot that needs to get done, especially now, as I’m trying to plan for the next week or so.

This week was also a bit emotional for me because one of my dear friends has left South Africa. Amy hosted a Thanksgiving for us down in Kommetjie on Sunday evening which was beautiful, but bittersweet of course because she was leaving, and she’s one of those people who became a dear friend even though I haven’t known her that long. One of many remote friends: I started to make a list but realised I couldn’t. Amy also made a kick-ass pumpkin pie that I ate … and then almost immediately felt ill.

Yeah that wheat stuff will kill you. 

Next week is going to be awesome. I just have to live through this weekend first.

And in the meantime I’m definitely not forgetting to be thankful. More than yesterday, less than tomorrow. Onward and upward.

• “It’s a very belligerent society. We club each other over the head and then go out for beers.” – Eric
• “Bullies tend to be cowards.” – Eric
• “Employees, like all humans, like to be protected.” – Fred
• “What are you doing here?” – Paul (he always has the best lines….)
• “Well of course it is, Ellie. It’s the best gym in Africa.” – Beatrix
• “That’s how you make money.” – Andy
• “I like the way you think.” – Allister (the feeling is mutual)
• “I don’t get upset. That’s why I’m so dangerous.” – Ellie
• “Why can things not just work?” – Rudolph
• “He was a little intimidating, actually. And I’m not easily intimidated!” – Ellie
• “Every time I ask Mark about it, he just frowns. So I’m guessing it’s not simple.” – David
• “It’s the world we have, not the world we want.” – Michael